I had a fantastic dance class on Tuesday.
I usually spend most dance classes looking at my feet, and feeling how the moves are supposed to go. Usually this involves an inner dialogue something like this:
“That doesn’t feel right. Ugh. Now I totally screwed that up, and I’m about to miss the entrance to the next move. Yup. That doesn’t feel right either.”
All done while looking at my feet and/or where the wall meets the ceiling.
So we were standing in the corner, while Sukha explained the combination that we were going to be doing. We’d marked it a few times across the room, and it wasn’t too difficult. But while we were standing there, another girl asked whether a move we were doing (think: left leg extended to the side as high as possible, left arm curved over your head, right arm straight out to the side) was supposed to be done while on releve (read: up on the toes of your right leg.)
“Oh it’ll be much better on releve!” says Sukha, as I inwardly groan. Releve is a recipe for falling over. So instead of falling over in the middle of the combination, I decided to pop one while I was waiting and see how bad it was going to be. But instead of my usual method of feeling what I was doing, I decided to look in the mirror.
I went up…and stayed up. And it looked amazing. I looked like a dancer, not like the person who was constantly falling over. It was one of the most incredible things I had ever felt.
I spent the rest of class actually looking in the mirror, rather than at my feet. And I danced better than I ever had. Suddenly, once I was outside of my own head, I could see how it actually looked. And it didn’t look half bad.
I think it’s something I need to remember outside of dance. That how my life looks may sometimes be drastically different from the panicked voice in my head. Sometimes, I just need to look in the mirror.